• At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

  • Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

  • Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.

  • It takes twice as long - to look half as good.

  • It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

  • The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

  • When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.

  • When happy hour is an hour long nap.

  • When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

  • When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.

  • You and your teeth don't sleep together.

  • You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.

  • You have more patience because you simply don't care anymore.

  • You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.

  • You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

  • You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

  • Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.

  • Your back goes out but you stay home.

  • Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.

  • Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

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